It is becoming more and more apparent to me (now that I’m trying to have functional relationships) that there are different ways to show love, and that people also like to be loved in different ways.
I don’t know where I heard about this (probably Oprah, who are we kidding), but I always think about The 5 Love Languages, where everyone has “a primary way of expressing and interpreting love.” In short, they are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
I think to some extent, most people have more than just one. For me, the primary one of how I feel love is quality time. When I meet someone (especially a guy), I want to talk to them, get to know them, and spend time with them. It takes time for me to truly feel bonded with someone, only after quality time has taken place.
As far as showing love, probably more of a mixture of all of them. I like spending time with a guy and getting to really know them in a personal way. I like getting little meaningful gifts for them (I feel like it’s kinda the same as service), I like the physical aspect (who doesn’t, really), and I like telling them things I like about them or how I feel.
My current situation with Shy Guy has proved to be interesting in this aspect. I think for him, his way of showing love (ok maybe that’s a little much this early, but interest at least) is by texting me every day and physical touch. This doesn’t really leave room for quality time in my opinion, because I want to talk to him and hear his voice on the phone or see him in person so that we can get to know each other better. Texting and making out don’t really cut it for me and I’m trying not to get frustrated.
I think differing “love languages” is what it boils down to right now. My question is do I say something? I don’t even know what I would say without sounding like a crazy that wants to see him 24/7. I can respect that he shows love/interest differently and I do appreciate and like it when he texts me, I just want more communication and time is all.
What love language are you as far as giving or receiving? Have you ever had to deal with different love languages? How did it work out?