Ok so as I have admitted before, I love reality shows on tv because even though they’re not technically “reality,” I think it’s interesting to see how real people act in situations like those and I feel like sometimes it can be very telling of real life.
One of my current favorite shows (so glad it’s back) is Tough Love Miami. Judge all you want but I feel like this show has real-life applications and that it’s actually beneficial to the dating world (and my single life). The host of the show is matchmaker Steve Ward, who sets women up on matches, analyzes their actions, tells them what they’re doing wrong and shows them they should be doing to snag a man.
One of the more recent episodes talked about dealbreakers, so I’ve been thinking a lot about this topic lately.
Many of the girls on the show listed characteristics such as height, weight, money, jobs, etc that they didn’t want to compromise with, which were weeding out potential men that they were missing out on.
Of course most women have a list of the “ideal” surface things they would like in a man such as the women on this show had. In a perfect world I would love a man that’s over 6′ (I’m 5’8″), somewhere between 240-280 lbs (I love the big athletic types), that has gone to college, has a job, has a car, never been married, played sports, is dark featured (or just dark ha), loves children (even though I’m terrified of them), and the list can go on and on.
When it all comes down to it though, I would compromise on a lot of those things if the guy was a good guy. Sure I end up hanging out with the bad boys most of the time, but in the end, that’s why I don’t date them. “Good guy” is a very loose term I use to describe guys that are mostly good according to my religion, (which I won’t get into) but it basically is a blanket term that covers a lot of potential dealbreakers.
For me, that is almost the ONE dealbreaker that covers everything that is important to me.
For me, I want someone that believes the same things I do, and it’s not something that I’m willing to compromise on. I don’t feel like I should have to and I won’t.
The Fighter is a perfect example in this case. The fact that he is shorter (probably 5’10”) and smaller (210 lbs) than most of the guys I’ve hung out with? Not a deal breaker. The fact that he had earrings and long hair (which I don’t prefer)? Not a deal breaker. The fact that he has a child? Not even close to a dealbreaker. But the fact that he isn’t “good” by those terms is the one thing that held me back.
There are so many good qualities to him that I wish so badly that it could work. He always thought that I had a problem with his drinking (which I definitely did), and asked over dinner if drinking was the only reason we didn’t date. He was taken aback when I said no and said that it was the blanket problem of his attitude about not wanting to change and be a better person, which covered the drinking, that was the problem.
Shy Guy is a “good guy.” Even though his communication isn’t the best and I can’t figure him out for the life of me, the fact that he is in a better place is more appealing to me. I don’t know if it will even work out with him (it’s kinda leaning towards no I think), but he’s the type of guy in that sense that I want to end up with.
I even casually met a guy a week ago that I personally didn’t find as attractive as either guy I just described (even though he was big and plays football which is hot), but who was a “good guy” and was also 21 (I really can’t win these days on the ages!) He was funny and we had a good time and I’m not sure if anything will happen with him either, but the point is is that I would be willing to sacrifice on things such as looks, age, height, and most little things if they were the type of person that I want to find.
Hopefully this explains things a little more and I understand I might look crazy, but hey that’s my story and I’m stickin to it, and it matters to me (name those songs) (ok just kidding the titles are basically what I just said but props if you know them)! I’m interested in what other peoples’ deal breakers are now though… what are some of yours dear readers? (all three of you haha) Or what did you think was a dealbreaker that you’ve compromised on with someone you’ve ended up with?